Sveiki užėję į naują temą!

Su psichologija susiduriame visur – tiek investavime, ar kad ir turguje, prekiaujant pomidorais. Todėl ši tema skirta tobulėjantiems, pradedantiesiems, patyrusiems ar žingeidiems psichologijoje.

Inicijuoju naują temą be jokių ambicijų ją ypatingai vesti ar kuruoti. Manau, kiekvienas gali prisidėti prie jos, ją kurti ir vystyti, įnešdamas savo įnašą, kartkartėmis suteikiant žinių, peno pamąstymams ar teigiamų emocijų. Galie dalintis savo patirtimi, įmesti kokį įdomų tyrimą, pacituoti autoritetą, padiskutuoti idėją ir t.t. Manau psichologijos temos ribos visiems geriau nei gerai aiškios.

Linkiu gero ir prasmingo laiko praleidimo šioje temoje!

Padarysiu startą (gera pradžia – pusė darbo). Pasistengsiu, kad startas nebūtų lengvas.

Jei skaitėte kada santykių pradžiamokslį arba jų „žemėlapį“ ,,Vyrai kilę iš Marso, moterys - iš Veneros“ (yra linkomanijoj) - ši knyga man yra kaip širdžių dešimkė – ir jei ji jums, kaip ir man, patiko - laukite staigmenos.
Knyga, kurią dabar cituosiu, verta būgnų damos (kas norit autoriaus ir pavadinimo – rašykit man PM). Autorius – Stanfordo universiteto Medicinos mokyklos PhD, kognityvinės biheiviorizmo terapijos šalininkas. Šią knygą nuotrupomis jums pacituosiu.

Apšilimui (prasideda citata):

Think about one person you‘re not getting along with, and try to picture what happens during a conflict or argument.
<...>
Three Options for Dealing with a Troubled Relationship
<...>
1. Maintaining the Status Quo.
Believe it or not, the first option – maintaining the Status Quo – is the most popular. Most people with troubled relationship don’t seem to be motivated to do anything about the problem. <…> For example, if you have a troubled marriage, getting divorced might seem overwhelming, frightening, or shameful, but working on your relationship may not seem very appealing, either. You may feel convinced that your spouse is a hopeless case because you tried to make things better in the past, but nothing worked, or it may seem unfair that you should have to do all the work. You may think that the costs of leaving the relationship would be greater than simply putting up with the situation, and you tell yourself that a bad relationship is better than none at all. So you may decide just to tread water for a while and see what happens.
2. Ending the Relationship.
The second option, ending the relationship, is also popular, and there’s no rule that says we’re obligated to try to get along with everyone. <..>
3. Making the Relationship Better.
If you choose the third option – working to make the relationship better – I’m thrilled because it means that we can work together. But now I have a new question for you: How are you going to make the relationship better? You can:
• Wait for the other person to change.
• Try to change the person you’re not getting along with.
• Focus on changing yourself.

Lots of people patiently wait for the other person to change. If you choose this option, you may be in for a long wait. Although we all have the capacity to learn and grow, it can take years for people to become more loving and open, and it may never happen. Waiting for someone to change is essentially the same as choosing to maintain the status quo.
That’s why so many people get frustrated and try hard to change the person they’re not getting along with. For example, if your husband has trouble opening up and expressing his feelings, you could remind him that men have feelings, too, and point out that communication is an important part of any loving relationship. Or if a colleague constantly criticizes you, you could tactfully point out that she’s wrong, and explain your own thinking so she’ll understand where you are coming from. <..> How well do these strategies work? You probably know the answer to that question. When you try to change someone you’re not getting along with, he’ll nearly always dig in his heels and resist. This is a fact of human nature. You could even say that trying to change someone forces him to remain exactly the same. So if you’re trying to change the other person, you’re also choosing to maintain the status quo.
If you want to develop a more loving relationship with anyone, we’re going to have to approach the problem from radically different angle. <…>

TO BE CONTINUED….

Iš anksto atsiprašau už offtopic ir linkiu šitai temai sėkmės

Visokių temų yra šitam forume: "prekyba ir muzika", "filmai", "papolitikuokim", "pafilosofuokim" ....

Ko gero betrūksta tik temos "prekyba ir seksas" Lauksim

... ir dar retorinis klausimas: tiek investavime, tiek perkant turguj pomidorus - ar reikalingas psichologijos žinių bagažas ?

"ar reikalingas psichologijos žinių bagažas ?"

Ne, ypac kai prekiauji demo. Su demo pomidorais.

Va pvz Toniui nereikia psichologijos. Jam tiesiog uzrasius ekselyje skaicius jie automatiskai atsiranda jo account'e.

Praktiškai Rasputinas.

Pabandysiu pereit prie tiksliniai auditorijai aktualios info.

Elgsenos finansų tėvas, kurio darbai tikrai įtakojo ir R. J. Shillerio tolimesnius darbus. Žmogus, kuris vienas pirmų taip stipriai pradėjo taškyt Fama EMH ir neigt idiotišką "agents are rational" principą. Beloved Daniel Kahneman. Čia su draugu, kurį irgi nepelnytai nuvertina, Amos Tversky.

Pirmas apie pagrindinius žmonių naudojamus heuristics. Realiai didžioji dalis TA, EA kūrėjų, Elliotistų, patternų ieškotojų ir etc privalo perskaityt.

http://psiexp.ss.uci.edu/research/teaching/Tversky_Kahneman_1974.pdf

Antras apie money management ir sprendimų priėmimą. Parodomas žmonių kvailumas ir neracionalumas. Labai gerai iliustruojamas "profitą fiksuoju dabar, nes gali pabėgt, o loss'ą leisiu pasilaikyt ilgiau, nes gal bus profitas" debilizmas.

http://www.princeton.edu/~kahneman/docs/Publications/prospect_theory.pdf

Abu yra klasika ir must read, must know.

Teisingas pastebėjimas. Pirmiausia darbas atliekamas excel'yje. Excel rodo, kad į Forex sąskaitas pervedus 10000 $ po 3 mėn jose bus apie 20000$. Kas toliau ? Vedu į sąskaitas šituos 10000 $ ir pasitikrinu po 3 mėnesių ar tikrai jau jose 20000 $. Jei 20000 $ - reiškia excel'yje atlikti preliminarūs skaičiavimai buvo teisingi. Nelabai suprantu, kame čia mistika ? Įžiūriu tik racionalumą bei darbo efektyvumą.

Toni: kas apie ką, o tu vis apie praktinį treidinimą

Žmonės kalba apie žemės ūkio poveikį Žemės ekosistemai , o tu - apie tai, kaip augini pomidorus

Tęsiu knygos nuotrupų citatas.
Praeitose citatose matėte...:
(čia iš dalies moksliškai paaiškinama mano buvusio posto citata)

The Key to a Loving Relationship
<…> More than 1200 individuals participated in the study <…> What were the results? First, we examined the demographic variables. As it turned out, it makes a little difference whether you’re old or young, male or female, rich or poor. <…> Which attitudes were the most important? Other-blame was by far the most important mind-set. People, who blamed their partners (or people in general) for the problems in their relationships were angry, frustrated, unhappy, and intensely dissatisfied with their relationships. <…> Individuals, who blamed their partners for the problems in their relationships were even more miserably unhappy three months later. <…> In contrast, people who were willing to assume complete personal responsibility for solving the problem in their relationships, and who felt a strong commitments to making their partners happy, not only reported the most satisfying and loving relationships at the time of initial testing, but their positive feelings seemed to increase over time. <…>
Although I was initially skeptical about the results of the study, my clinical work soon convinced me that the findings were valid.
<….>

Dabar – nauja info:

Is Self-Blame the Answer?
A word of warning is in order. When you stop blaming other people, you may think you’re supposed to start blaming yourself. Be careful. Self-Blame can trigger depression. <…> Self-blame paralyzes you, demoralizes you, and defeats you, and Other-blame leads to never-ending battles with the person you’re odds with. In both cases, your negative thoughts will be flooded with all the cognitive distortions we discussed in chapter 1.

<...>

TABLE. COMMON COMMUNICATION ERRORS
1. Truth. You insist that you’re right and the other person is wrong.
2. Blame. You imply that the problem is all the other person’s fault.
3. Defensiveness. You argue and refuse to admit any flaw or shortcoming.
4. Martyrdom. You claim that you’re the innocent victim of the other person’s tyranny.
5. Put-Down. You use harsh or hurtful language and try to make the other person feel inferior or ashamed.
6. Labeling. You call the other person a “jerk”, a “loser”, or worse.
7. Sarcasm. Your attitude, words, and tone of voice are belittling or patronizing.
8. Counterattack. You respond to criticism with criticism.
9. Scapegoating. You imply that the other person is defective or inadequate.
10. Diversion. You change the subject or list past grievances.
11. Self-Blame. You act as if you’re awful and terrible to prevent the other person from criticizing you.
12. Hopelessness. You claim that you’ve tried everything but nothing works.
13. Demandingness. You complain that the other person “should” be the way you expect him or her to be.
14. Denial. You deny your role in the problem or insist that you don’t feel upset when you really do.
15. Helping. Instead of listening, you give advice or “help”.
16. Problem Solving. You ignore the other person’s feelings and try to solve the problem that’s bothering him or her.
17. Passive Aggression. You say nothing, pout, or slam doors.
18. Mind Reading. You expect the other person to know how you feel without having to tell him or her.

<…>



Šiam vakarui užteks. Jau ištrupinau 40 % knygos, bet svarbiausia - dar tik priešaky.

<...> you've seen how easy it is to diagnose the precise cause of any relationship conflict simply by examining one exchange between two people who aren't along with each other <...> Now you're ready for Step 5 - that's where you learn to transform troubled relationships into loving, rewarding relationships.

PART THREE. How to Develop Loving Relationships with the People You Care About

To be continued...........

domekites geriau parapsichologijos saka "telekineze", man tiesa sakant anksciau iseidavo mintimis pajudinti rinka, tereikedavo parinkti tinkamus burtazodzius(keiksmazodzius),bet jei jau parinkdavau blogus, tai iskart fiksuodavau nuostoli.gal kas zinot koki veikianti uzkeikima pvz. buliu zvakem? na tiktu ir bar'ams jei kas zinot.

Aš ir galvoju, kaip tiek daug, keistų dviprasmių žodžių gali duoti kokią nors praktinę naudą?

Psichologija investuotojui ar treideriui gali duoti nedaugiau praktinės naudos negu sociologija, astronomija, muzika, filmai ar žvejyba.

ruta, aš būdamas marketingistas, drįstu pareikšti-parekomenduoti, kad ilgi postai užknisa. nu pagalvok pati, kiek treiderių perskaitė tavo netgi ne lietuvišką tekstą ir ką nors suprato-priėmė į savo smegeninę?

Focus, don't be a scapegoat!

Это просто предложение, а не какое то рассуждение..

Mielieji, jūs tiesiog - neabejingi! Ačiū. (čia be ironijos)

Sakiau, kad pasistengsiu, jog startas būtų nelengvas. Taip ir darau. Daugelis jau apšilo ir jau siunčia feedbacką.

Bet kol neištrupinsiu 100 % knygos, kuria ir norėjau inicijuoti startą, tol jokie jūsų komentarai nebus tas aisbergas, nuskandinsiantis Titaniką, nors kai kurie jaučiatės pasipiktinę ar priversti klausytis čiulbesių.

Ištrupinsiu tik kertinius trupinius, lai tebūna jie trumpesni nuo šiol.


<...>
TABLE. The Five Secrets of Effective Communication.
Listening Skills:
1. The Disarming Technique (DT). You find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems totally unreasonable or unfair.
2. Empathy. You put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see the world through this or her eyes.

1 Thought Empathy (TE). You paraphrase the other person's words
2 Feeling Emphaty (FE). You acknowledge how the other person is probably feeling, based on what he or she said.

3. Inquiry. You ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about how the other person is thinking and feeling.
Self-Expression Skills:
4. "I Feel" statements. You use "I Feel" Statements, such as, "I feel upset", rather than "You" Statements, such as, "You're wrong!".
5. Stroking. You find something genuinely positive to say to the other person, even in the heat of battle. You convey an attitude of respect, even though you may feel very angry with the other person.

Ir berašydama paklodę permąsčiau, ar reikia jums tęsinio. Ne visiems, ir gal net ne tokia forma. Na bet kai bus koks kokybiškesnis trupinys, aš jums jį tikrai ištrupinsiu!
Labos nakties

O kaip socionomika? Labai isipaiso pas treiderius kaip mokslas.

Isiterpsiu truputuka ta proga kad siandien toks sviezias ir sauletas rytas.
Pakomentuosiu savais zodziais pirmaji Efektyvios komunikacijos igudi, nes kai kurie galejo suprasti ji dviprasmiskai.
Nuginklavimo technika reiskia, kad jus priimate kaip tiesa kritika. Kodel? Nes egzistuoja du paradoksai: 1. Jei jus ignoruojate ar gincyjates, kritikas lieka teisus ar net iziebiat didesni ginca. 2. Jei sutinkate su kritika, kritikas jus pamato visiskai kitoje sviesoje. Tai yra sunkiausiai ismokstamas komunikacijos igudis, nes tam kelia uzstoja jusu isdidumas, baime sutikti ir pasijausti "zemesniu". Bet visa tai yra ego kaprizai.

Pvz.: jums saukia ,,Bet tu niekad manes nesiklausai!!". Ats gali buti: ,,as pripazistu kad taves nesiklausau ir zinau, kaip tu jauti frustracija budamas ignoruojamas. As labai apgailestauju. Gal gali pasakyti konkreciau, ka tu butent man norejai pasakyt?". Jei jus butumet atsake komunikacijos klaida nr.1 ,,Bet juk as teisi, o tu klysti", pralaimetumet. Taigi si technika gali buti baltas melas vardan nuginklavimo

Manai, ruta, psichologai ar psichiatrai idealiai bendrauja su savo seima vien todel, kad jie puikiai zino vadovelines tiesas kaip ta reikia daryti? Daznai buna kad psichologas vaiksto pas psichologa, nors logiskai mastant juk pats galetu sau padeti, juk zino kaip galetu sau padeti, vadovelius mintinai moka. Bet taip nera. Realybe kitokia. Kaip demo ir real saskaitos.